Halloween Remains the Slutty Holiday

Slutty’s an overwrought adjective. But how else to describe wearing the sexy version of an eleven year old girl’s iconic wardrobe for a party full of drunken men dressed as Donald Trump?

Yandy, the company infamous for making trashy costumes for women to win Halloween, is promoting a revealing version of the cutesy dress worn by the little girl character, Eleven, in the cult hit, Stranger Things. She’s eleven. But you cut her party dress her and hem up there and suddenly you’re the 32-year old marketing manager every creepy older guy wants to nail on October 31.

You imagine what it must be like being a gender demanding not to be objectified, while making men erect with your sexy middle school Hermione Granger or fuckable Pennywise costume. It’a a narrow needle to thread.

When I was a kid, Halloween was strictly for kids. I’m not that old. Classmates mocked you if you were twelve and still dressing up. At some point Halloween transitioned into an autumnal version of Mardi Gras. A holiday where grown women had to figure out what to wear that made their breasts look amazing. Throw in 80 proof punch and you have a contrived excuse to get loaded and fuck a guy in caveman getup. There is no other reason for a grown man to ever don a costume.

Yandy is the same company that sponsored this year’s Miss Teen USA pageant, despite living off the sale of crotchless panties and garters. Feminists will never win in a world where so many women are trying to make their genitals visually appealing to men. Keep that thought tucked in your forebrain the next time you’re worried the ladies are taking over. Cavemen holding strong.

_{Photo Credit: Yandy/Backgrid}