Rachel Bilson’s Very Bad Year

Rachel Bilson was formally one half of the most boring celebrity couple in America, but now she’s free. With the removal of Hayden Christensen from her life it didn’t mean she was instantly relieved from all of her problems. Aside from the cause of the break-up possibly being an affair with Emma Roberts, Rachel is also dealing with robbery. It’s possible a home invasion plan was hatched after Hollywood thieves heard about the split. Christensen’s absence was key for a successful steal-athon. Not that Hayden has a build that would scare burglars off, but because being forced to listen to that couple’s conversation while staking out an opportune time to enter when they exit would bore anyone into changing their mind about the entire operation. 

About the robbery:

According to law enforcement officials, the actress left her residence around 10 a.m. on Friday. She returned about 4 hours later to find the place had been completely raided.

The thieves apparently had entered through a sliding glass door — which might have been left unlocked — and took somewhere between $40,000 and $50,000 in shoes, handbags, jewelry, and other property.

On the infidelity:

Hayden and Emma recently filmed a movie called Little Italy, about a young couple whose families own competing pizza restaurants.

But this romantic comedy may have been more of an American Horror Story for Rachel, as she reportedly found some inappropriate text messages on her man’s phone — messages that pointed to an affair with the 26-year-old!

If the affair rumors are true Emma Roberts has somewhat of an interesting face. Not sure if it’s worth trading banging Bilson for but almost ten years of sex with the same person will make almost anything with a working vagina look more attractive. Monogamy becomes overrated when your partner feels free enough to fart in front of you. Those cute quirks you loved in the beginning of the relationship have now snowballed over the years into an annoyance that if left unrelieved through some sort of outlet can turn a common law marriage into a murder. And that ladies and gentlemen is why so many celebrities have affairs and do drugs in excess until the inevitable divorce. Christensen got Emma Roberts after the split and Rachel got her house robbed. So far in the game of “who’s doing better in life after the break-up” it’s Hayden 1, Bilson -1. 

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