This Ain’t Your Granddaddy’s Walt Disney

Lethargic minded people imagine Disney executives are spending their days trying to figure out how to gay up America’s children with deviant plot lines and LGBTQ characters. Those people are completely off, by ten percent at least. There is no sinister aspect. The plan is truly heartfelt. 

Disney pretended to break bold ground by announcing they’d have their first ever openly gay kid on the Disney Channel. The “Cyrus Goodman” thirteen year old character on their hit little kid’s show, Andi Mack, will realize his feelings for another boy on the show. Imagine the roller coaster of emotions in-store for this character as he and his friends learn to navigate the highways and byways of middle school sexuality. Seventh grade was practically a porn studio. Considering none of the actors were allowed to attend middle school themselves, consider this a tough acting assignment.

Disney issued a statement approved by seventeen levels of management and the Human Rights Campaign and four DACA kids working there as interns. That’s only a joke if you don’t realize Disney actually did consult with multiple gay rights organizations for their blessing before moving forward:

“Andi Mack is a story about ‘tweens’ figuring out who they are. (Creator) Terri Minsky, the cast and everyone involved in the show takes great care in ensuring that it’s appropriate for all audiences and sends a powerful message about inclusion and respect for humanity.”

The core audience for the Andi Mack show are children aged 6-12. This means you can expect some outraged letters from outraged parents expressing their intentions to boycott the show. As if without a boycott you otherwise have to watch. In fact, you’re paying your cable provider for The Disney Channel. Maybe you’re part of the grand gay conspiracy?

Disney has made a concerted effort to hire and promote women and gay men over the past quarter century. Walt may be rolling in his cryo-grave, but the company staffing decision has been more than overt. The result is a governing cadre of executives with very different social values and concerns than Disney past. Guess what they want their kids to see on TV? Middle school coming out stories. On the preschool cartoon show Doc McStuffins, they want kids with two mommies. They want to see nothing-but-Kaepernick on Disney owned ESPN. It’s hardly sinister. It’s what’s important to them. If you turn on the Pat Robertson channel, you get the Gospel. This is why we have 3,000 channels.

Disney isn’t going to make more money by being the forerunner in progressive social mores. They’re likely going to lose money. But they’ve made a decision as a media giant that that’s their deal. Plus Marvel and Star Wars make a fucking ton of money to keep shareholders happy. If you really want to protest, throw the football around outside with your son and talk about girls. Disney hates that kind of shit.