Young Dolph Shot Famous

The three musts of a legit rapper are to get in with a crew using some kind of slang for the word money, to be subject to an arrest on weapons charges, and to be shot somewhere famous. If possible, by or with or adjacent to Suge Knight. He’s bullet proof so don’t worry about how many times he can do this for other people.

Young Dolph is a rapper you’ve heard of if you study rappers like Art History majors study Renaissance paintings and you can name thousands on the final exam  Only the top twenty pop stars make any cash. But anywhere in the top five hundred rappers make enough to purchase several feet of gold. If you want to rise to an outlaw figure the white suburban teens can idolize, get yourself shot at Hollywood and Highland in broad daylight

If there’s anything learned from rapper shooting history, take a bullet in a famous place. Biggie was killed off-Wilshire, Tupac was killed off-The Strip in Vegas. It enhances your postmortem merchandising value. The center of Hollywood is fairly epic for your first gsw, but rookie move by Young Dolph to crawl bloody into The Shoe Palace store. Drag yourself another twenty feet to Lucky Strikes bowling alley. This kind of thing goes down in your permanent VH-1 history. Do you want to hear about the Shoe Palace on your rewind special in 2037?

It’s unclear who shot Young Dolph, let alone who the fuck Young Dolph is, but reports are he’s stable at the hospital going and live to tell an amazingly bullshit self-promotional tale of gangster initiation by fire. This is so much better than that time thugs shot up his SUV in Charlotte.

Charlotte’s a nice enough city, but it’s not Hollywood and Highland. That’s where the Oscars take place. Also where registered sex offenders dress up in character costumes and rub up against children while peppering their parents for cash. It’s iconic Tinsel Town. Now stained in the blood of Young Dolph. Looks like you made it, kid. 

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