Tara Reid Talks To Hedgehogs For Money

There’s a reason why American cinema is amazing. Imagine making millions off movies that are the quality of what the best film a third world country budget could offer on purpose and as a parody. African Kung-Fu movies are an actual thing. Machetes that may have murdered children are used instead of samurai swords. And why let the less fortunate have all the fun with the terrible editing and horrible plots. This is ‘murica, you make it, we take it. Whether you like it or not. This is the land of freedom, justice, and five different versions of man-eating sharks stuck in tornados wreaking havoc on civilians. So if we want to take the idea of Sonic the talking hedgehog and make a terrible movie starring Tara Reid, we have the freedom to do so. God Bless. 

When Reid tweeted the Andy the Talking Hedgehog poster on Friday, the internet went nuts. That was partly because the poster featured a hedgehog, two cats, Dean Cain, Tara Reid’s Twitter profile pic manipulated to look slightly more wholesome and an unattributed quote calling it “a magical good time”. But it was also because the IMDb plot summary for the film read “Tara Reid brings her Oscar award-winning prowess to this documentary about a hedgehog that Dean Cain farted on giving it the ability to talk. It’s a fun-loving family movie that will for sure make you say “WOWZA. 

Tara Reid makes me feel uncomfortable. Because I don’t know how much alcohol it would take for me to be aroused at the idea of her. Normally I can tell how many drink just from looking at a few photographs but everything about her has me confused. They need to make photoshop illegal. I’m tired of twos turning into tens with the help of filters. Maybe I’m interested in the fact that the word “no” doesn’t appear to be in her vocabulary. If she doesn’t turn down bad movie roles I wonder what else she won’t turn down. Asking for a friend. 

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}