Rosie O’Donnell’s Most Recent Wife Kills Herself

It’s super sad when a forty-something mom takes her own life. Even sadder when because of really poor life decisions, she’s officially known in the press as ‘Rosie O’Donnell’s ex-wife’. Eva Braun had it easier in her obit.

Michelle Rounds took her own life this past week. Assume her journey there was long and tortured. Or however you’d describe a four year marriage to Rosie O’Donnell and the potential that included nudity. The couple’s nuptials included the adoption of a baby. Middle aged lesbian marriages aren’t official until there’s an infant exchanged and Madonna sends a golden rattle.

You may recall that the baby O’Donnell purchased from a junky a decade previous turned into her now late teen runaway daughter. The one leading a barrage of horror stories about growing up with a bitter and moody mom. O’Donnell chalks her daughter’s childhood horror stories to her mental illness. Something she mentions too in her only comment about the passing of her most recent ex-wife:

“I am saddened to hear about this terrible tragedy. Mental illness is a very serious issue affecting many families. My thoughts and prayers go out to Michelle’s family, her wife and their child.”

There comes a time when you have to wonder if somebody is surrounding themselves with mentally ill people or perhaps the one making everybody crazy. The answer is probably both. In any event it involves a ton of Moon Pies and jug wine.

Religious people will caution you to live your life like you will someday have to answer for your shitty choices. More practical people you simply don’t want the TMZ headline linking you to Rosie O’Donnell’s cooch munching upon your demise. Even if that was a good measure of the cause of death.

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