Kylie Jenner Reveals Reason For Balloon Animal Lips

Kyle Jenner is running out of revelations for the three people watching her deep fried queef casserole reality series, Life of Kylie. On last night’s episode, the botched starlet opened up about the reason why it looks like a balloon animal in the shape of a sea cucumber has taken up residence on the lower half of her face. Wildly breaking with convention, Jenner states that boy dramz inspired her to go the to plastic surgeon’s office and say: “So you know what a blimp looks like right?”

I was 15 and I was insecure about my lips. I have really small lips. And it was like one of my first kisses and a guy was like, ‘I didn’t think you would be a good kisser because you have such small lips.’ But I took that really hard. Just when a guy you like says that, I don’t know, it just really affected me. I just didn’t feel desirable or pretty.

I really wanted bigger lips. I would overline my lips with lip liner just to create the illusion of bigger lips. And then finally I was like this lip liner isn’t doing it. [I] ended up getting my lips done.

“Guy” referring to Kris Jenner. If a quasi-compliment following a kiss provides enough emotional ammo to drive a Jenndashian to the plastic surgeon’s office, we’ve actually learned quite a bit from this stupid inane clip. The reason Kim continues to look more and more like a butch drag queen. Kanye West follows their spit swapping seshes with: “That was good, but it would be great if you had stubble. And a penis.” After seeing Jenner’s therapist’s office, we also learn that people besides Dungeon Masters and child pornographers can own tropical fish tanks. And later in the video we learn that Kylie does some charity work or something for poor black children. A day of fun facts. When exactly is this show going to be canceled?

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