Khloe Kardashian Becomes Third Pregnant Kardashian

If you bet on a large demographic spike in the birth of half-black half-Armenian out of wedlock children in 2017, you’re about to be rich. This isn’t exactly Saruman breeding armies of Man-orcs, but it’s the closest example we have on regular earth. That’s not racist because the orcs are The Kardashians.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are steaming a bun in some paid mercenary chick’s oven so they can pass down Kanye’s bipolar without killing Kim. Somebody doesn’t know how to do a proper Pros and Cons list obviously. In the past forty-eight hours Kylie Jenner has Scanner’ed the brains of millions of young future baristas and costume jewelry salesgirls with teases about her own bastard rapper baby. Now, insiders with esthetician level Kardashian clearance are stating unequivocally and anonymously that Khloe Kardashian is pregnant with Tristan Thompson’s baby. This will be Khloe’s first child. And Thompson’s second, this year, since his former girlfriend gave birth to another kid of his last Christmas. Also another grandkid for O.J.

For all the mapping of the stars and aligning climatological events and numerology to the ancient scriptures, there’s been no more obvious sign of the End of Days than these three pumpkin headed sisters pregnant at the same time. The black baby daddy thing only relevant in terms of its statistical near impossibility in any Caucasian family not intentionally seeking interracial reproduction. Think of it as a bit of reverse white supremacy. With equally disturbing tones. Yet so ripe for an endless series of E! Specials and People magazine exclusives. Get the big checks ready. 

_{Photo credit: Splash News / Pacific Coast News}