Barely Clothed Baristas Fight For Freedom To Still Fill Your Cup

Every man in America has a boner before breakfast and if you happen to live in Washington it’s probably because of the coffee. No, the average caffeine run to Starbucks isn’t responsible. This is due to the state of Washington offering cappuccino with a side of cleavage. Bikini baristas easily beat out the abundant amount of butch dykes behind the counters of many coffee shops. The last situation I want to see at seven a.m. is a woman with more mustache than me seductively handover my handcrafted microbrew. But apparently these hardworking women serving coffee to their community got served with an ordinance aimed to have them cover up. The trail of breadcrumbs leading back to the root dispute over should baristas be able to bear boobs leads back to the bed of some pissed off politician’s fat wife. Party’s over. 

The AP has more details on the rules, which were adopted because the “bikini baristas” tiny outfits provide “the opportunity for scantily clad baristas to easily engage in sexual conduct with customers,” the City Council said. 

One of the ordinances prohibits employees at “quick service” restaurants from exposing their midriffs, breasts and the top three inches of their legs. The other defines a new crime of facilitating lewd conduct.

The ladies affected by these laws are now fighting back by suing the city, claiming that the laws violate their rights to express themselves and discriminate against women. 

I applaud these women for suing the city of Everett with their unmistakably intrusive and sexist laws looking to put hot women out of work. Susan B. Anthony didn’t fight for the right of women being required to dressed modestly while handing men their morning coffee. She sacrificed her time and energy for women to be proud of their cups at work. The bigger the better. Because seeing a large cup size in the morning can put a smile on anyone’s face. Coffee of course. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}