Usher’s Herpes Travails Grow Much Much Bigger

There is nobody who wants their train wreck lineup of one night stands showing up in a whoring minion at a press conference. Double that when they’re standing next to Lisa Bloom to sue your ass for herpes. When the trio includes a dude and an obese chick, there’s no coming back. There’s simply no coming back.

Quantasia Sharpton is obese. That’s not a derisive comment. It’s a clinically derisive comment. According to Sharpton, by way of her opportunistic Allred offspring, two years ago at nineteen Usher pointed her out at his concert and had his lackies bring her to his hotel room for a little unprotected fucking of the green ooze dick. No word on how good the sex was. I dare you to imagine it.

An odd little mention at the law suit presser was the fact that Usher never gave this large woman herpes. Apparently it’s more of a Russian Roulette type STD. It’s also possible there are certain bodies herpes simply won’t live in. Presumably by choice. She’s still suing for what might’ve been. The negligence, the exposure, and any other words that might scare Usher into a settlement. In fact, two of the three clients Bloom is representing never contracted herpes. But the psychological trauma of knowing you came close has to be worth mid six figures. 

Bloom had to dodge a silver bullet when somebody noted that but a week ago, Sharpton tweeted “I need money”. Bloom deflected, noting that that comment had nothing to do with her pending herpes lawsuit and anybody raising the possibility was a bigoted snob:

“It’s not a crime to be poor in America. It’s not a crime to be honest about the fact you need money. Most people need money.”

In fact, it’s not even a crime in America to sue a dude who didn’t give you herpes. Or eat for three people while doing so.

Bloom maneuvered the conversation into how Sharpton was being fat shamed online. Now if you change the subject to question the facts of the case, you’re a hater. She really boxed the stoned beat reporters into a corner.

It’s probably time for Usher and his HSV to be put down. I mean, exterminated. Gas, plastic bag, dumpster. The whole routine. He doesn’t have kids because, anal, but its time to put his estate into protect mode. A death would do the trick. Though Lisa Bloom would be picking over that herpetic carcass like a craven meal worm.

_{Photo credit: Splash News / Getty}