Rob Kardashian Sinking Into Oblivion

It’s hard to watch a man slowly eat himself to death. Ironically, I’ve seen several slowly drink themselves to death and it almost seems natural. But a dude shoveling cheesecake into his mouth until he achieves Kirstie Alley, followed by a corrosive arterial sclerosis seems antithetical to male behavior.

According to unnamed friends of Rob Kardashian, Blac Chyna’s jilted baby daddy is approaching three pounds of shut-in pre-suicidal blubber. Imagine that can’t smell tremendous. Kardashian was headed this direction as the last remaining fully intact male in the legendarily emasculated family prior to being baited by Chyna into an E! anchor baby. She was to be his savior from his sick and demented whorecake family. A midget gold digger with face piercings and ass implants. Might as well knot your own noose. Or fuck your sister.

According to more Radar Online anon sources, Kris Jenner has ex-communicated her son from the family until he gets institutional lockdown help. Or until they can figure out how to B Plot diabetic shock into the show. 

“Kris has cut him off as of now, and she won’t be handing him another dime until he confronts his problems. He’s got major anger and addiction issues, brought on by a chronic lack of self-esteem over his looks and his position in the family.”

Like Fredo with a chocolate soda addiction. May be time to take him fishing. Tell him the cod come out of the lake breaded and fried.

It’s impossible to know at which point to pull the ‘feeling bad for this sorry fuck’ switch on Rob Kardashian. He’s an advantaged son who has allowed himself to be overrun by the cackling she-hounds in his immediate family. He’s not a strong man. Nor an admirable man. Squirrels nervous systems send them shooting across the road at precisely the wrong time in relation to passing cars. Whatever that feeling is for the smushed squirrels. Apply that to Kardashian.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News}