Mrs. Macron Gets No Euros

The older married teacher who started fucking the freshman boy in her high school class all those years ago wants a salary now that that kid she’s still boinking grew up to be the goofy looking President of France.

Prior to his election, Emmanuel Macron, who shares the same name with a series of five amazing Sylvia Kristel films, promised to make his AARP wife and former cub hunter a First Lady, by official title. With an office and paycheck and benefits. There’s no spouse of a democratically elected President who’s ever had First Lady as a paid civil service job. Though this is the first outright male submissive to lead a major world nation. Canada obviously does not qualify.

Brigitte Macron has her needs. Her old lady plastic surgery face speaks to use of coupons. She’s going to need to rebuild that mug from scratch. I’d ask for my peggings from behind if I were Emmanuel. But the people of France rose up as they often do except when facing a military foe and 280,000 of them signed a petition insisting the First Lady be volunteer status only:

“At a time when French public life is being moralized, at a time when a decree banning MPs from employing members of their family is being voted … we cannot decently approve of an initiative giving President Macron’s wife a specific status. Brigitte Macron currently has a team of two or three aides, as well as two secretaries and two security guards. That’s enough. If we should indeed tackle the question of having a First Lady, it should be answered via a referendum and not by a single man.”

It’s hard to compliment the French. But this might just be a decent petition. It was enough to cause President Macron to back away from his paid First Lady promise. His popularity numbers have plummeted since his Golden Boy election. Imagine the old lady didn’t take the news too well. Ask for the peggings from behind, Emmanuel. You’re not fifteen anymore. 

_{Photo credit: Getty Images}