Lindsey Lohan No GOOP

Having tits does not make you interesting by default. The biological blessing that are tits may spark interest to many, but the entity that said tits are attached to may be the vapidest thing with two legs attempting to get attention. Like Lindsay Lohan. The climate of things people pay for has drastically changed. People won’t even pay for porn anymore. But Lohan believes that she can get people to pay to look at her with clothes on. Her lifestyle site that she was looking to capitalize off of has failed miserably. The admission fees she charges for access alone would be better spent on amateur cam streams. 

Page Six reports that nearly three weeks after the launch of Lohan’s Kardashian-esque lifestyle site, the fan reception seems to be lukewarm at best. Using metrics that are good as anything else in this day and age, Page Six took a look at Lohan’s Instagram likes, noting that a post of hers on a platform widely used by millions of people routinely gets over 100,000 likes. The posts on her lifestyle site, which looks like an off-brand Instagram, are markedly less popular. Per Page Six, the most-liked post on her app is “a picture of her in an elevator with the caption ‘Hey everyone :?)?.’” Fifty-one people liked it.

Most women who aren’t Kardashians don’t understand how gaining attention works. You need to perform fellatio on a penis first before you start taking pictures and becoming popular. Access to Lindsey Lohan’s lifestyle site comes with a price tag of $2.99. That’s $2.99 a month too much for a personal Instagram account with a paywall between every picture. Who on earth is that important? This is basically extortion of her last remaining fans. All of which are young adult gingers who owned wheelie back packs and copies of Herby the love bug in high school. I hope this a wake-up call for Lindsey. You weren’t going to be a star forever. Uber is always hiring when you come to the realization you aren’t interesting enough to make money doing nothing on the internet.

_{Photo Credit: Getty}