Laura Prepon Pops Out Another One for Xenu

Laura Prepon finding time to have a child after being one of my favorite lesbians on Netflix is a let down. Is child birth is great? Yes. Is ruining my girl on girl fantasies because you’re not fully committed to being gay in real life okay? No. You’re supposed to live, breathe, and become your character. There are no hot lesbians with kids. You want to know why. Because once a lesbian has a child that experimental phase in her life is done. Solidified with a committed decision about dick and residual newborn baby. I will now envision very full smelly pampers after every tryst and kiss with Taylor Shilling. Making your on-screen romance that much less believable. Orange Is The New Black is on its last legs anyway. I mean how much more can you pull from a show with mildly attractive women in the same khaki colored clothing every episode. 

Prepon, one of the stars of Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black, and Foster, one of the stars of last year’s deeply satisfying crime romp Hell or High Water, have known each other “since they were teenagers,” and have been linked romantically since 2016.

Plus, Prepon revealed was a Scientologist in 2007, and Scientologists are god damn crazy. Back in her Hot Donna days she would have been enough to point me toward the e-meters. But now that she’s popped out a kid with discount Jason Statham, I don’t feel as interested in transferring my thetans to her. This kid is probably already in line to be David Miscavige’s future special assistant. Which in this case means brainwash her to be a sex concubine. Remember the good old days when ex-Scientologist Samantha Domingo accused the church of forcing her to get an abortion. Apparently, Laura doesn’t get this kind of heat. 

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