Lady Gaga All Areola And Gay Men In V Mag

The singer drama of the past week has rendered half of America brain dead, as our favorite woke lesbian impersonator Katy Perry threw shade at enraged bowl of vanilla yogurt Taylor Swift with Swish Swish. Swift used her new single Look What You Made Me Do to throw shade at Kanye West.

Speaking of gay men, former pop sensation Lady Gaga is still pretending that people know she’s alive with more of the self-fellating interviews that have become her bread and butter. Her rehashed feud with ancient spirit Madonna is about as interesting as two hobos going at it over a mud-caked cigarette butt. Still, she persists. Gaga honed in on the gays early in her career, telling them that it’s okay that they were born this way, to which they said: “Wish we could say the same for you.” No, actually they said: “Jesus, I guess this is the best we’re going to get.”

The gay-baiting pro put down the Bud Light she was sipping in her Airbnb after returning from Starbucks to tell V Mag that the gays are her favorite and most valuable accessories. Like chihuahuas you carry around in designer handbags:

I have these wonderful powerful women in my life. They wake me up every day and make sure I am powerful, feeling good and strong. And also the gay men in my life. I would be lying if I said there weren’t some straight men on my team, but to me it’s the women and the gay men around me who give me strength.

Evaluating people by how much they kiss ass is a known sign of emotional maturity. Gaga also addresses her soulful failed country album Joanne like people actually listened to it. Adorable:

For me, Joanne, in the simplest terms, it’s the classic stories of our lives that help us return to who we really are, no matter how lost we get. You can always go back to a loss, or the pain of a pending loss, or a challenging struggle in your family life, or your childhood. And when you go back to that place, it somehow brings you back to where you were in the beginning. And for me, that’s what writing this album was all about. Because after The Fame Monster and subsequent albums, I felt that there was a part of me that was connecting on a human level with the public and part of me that was connecting on a whole new level, one that I had been wanting to connect with them on, a sort of fantastic magical level. And now, I want more of that connection.

Gaga is nearing the end of her Rolodex of art school babble topics, and it’s beginning to show. You can’t have a soulful country return if you were never country, or soulful. Her beginnings include wailing on stage at hipster garbage Brooklyn bars. She doesn’t deserve a cowboy hat. Just an ironic t-shirt and Doc Martens. 

Finally, here’s Gaga on sexy horses:

When I ride [my horse Trigger], it always makes me feel so powerful, because he is so powerful. There’s no pressure. I just get on the horse and go. It’s sort of a metaphor for all the guys I’ve been with.  

Um, gross. 

Click here to see the NSFW pics

^{Photo Credit: V Magazine}