Claudia Schiffer Actually Hot

Expectations are managed and adjusted for factors such as age and lifestyle when evaluating the bangability of celebrities. Nicole Kidman looks good for someone who face swapped with the Annabelle doll. Cindy Crawford looks okay for someone beginning her transition into Steven Tyler. Lindsay Lohan looks pretty terrible for someone who we all thought would be dead by now. But these new pap pictures of 90’s supermodel sensation Claudia Schiffer prove that she’s just plain bangable. Not bangable for a forty-seven-year-old, or a mother of three, just so goddamn hot and, yeah, penetratable.

The blonde bombshell looks effortlessly sexy while flouncing around on a yacht in Italy. Her white bikini doesn’t feature the design accouterments used by most mothers to hide their Silly Putty stomachs and creamed corn thighs. We know what’s under there ladies, no need for the smoke and mirrors. Just a tarp. That’s not mommy shaming btw. Actually, yeah it is. Sorry, Chrissy Teigen. Here’s Schiffer breaking the cardinal rule of celebritydom by not giving the h8ers anything to slam.

^{Photo Credit: Backgrid}