Britain Sees Tits, Falls Into the Ocean

The British have invited a human mass of non-assimilated Sharia jihadis onto their island home without much ado, but a pair of tits on television has the nation on the brink of meltdown.

This past week a shot of BBC news anchor Sophie Raworth homaging a Fox News chick in a tight blue dress revealed a a background office worker’s computer screen in the background. For whatever reason, he was watching an Anna Paquin topless scene from True Blood. Assume he wasn’t binge watching the former HBO show at work and was skipping to the best parts.  

Even though only one person out of the 3.8 million viewers was able to make out the distant screen catch, the newspapers expressed outrage. The BBC promised a full investigation into the horror, releasing a statement announcing it was “establishing the facts”. Fact. Everybody loves tits. Second fact, some schlub who works in your newsroom just got canned because you have to pretend you’ve got a hard working newsroom as a backdrop.

For her part, Anna Paquin, who hasn’t been Google searched since the first Obama term, jumped into fray with a reTweet of Mr. Skin’s post about her breasts in True Love and the hashtag, #Photoboobed, which her followers found hilarious. Fuck, low bar. Wish they were my fans.

Paquin made a name for herself as a kid actor who turned into an adult actor who regularly took off her top onscreen and offscreen discussed her bisexuality. She was never classically good looking, but topless and finger banging makes up for a lot. 

If I’m in the news union, I’m asking not to have my workstation broadcast on live television. That nation can’t handle a background tug.

 Photo credit: BBC / True Blood / HBO