Baseball Peen Injury Delights

Crotch injury hilarity permeating elementary school playgrounds the world over extends throughout adulthood, into old age homes, and even into heaven, where Jesus loves nothing more than a good ol’ sack wack for levity sake. Good spirits are just a penis and ball grab accompanied with a cartoonish “ouch” face away, as evident in this new footage of a photographer getting a baseball to the junk at a Boston Red Sox game. 

The man, identified as Wolf of Wall Street-era Jonah Hill, can be seen casually taking pics until Chin Strap Douche Face throwing the first pitch misses the catcher’s mitt, sending the ball straight for Hill’s groin.

Medically speaking, when the CDC categorizes you as “hilariously obese,” aren’t your genitals insulated in a luxurious layer of greasy fat folds? Basing this strictly on the Donald Trump statues. Which should be preserved. The photographer, real name Tony Capobianco, which has to actually be a fake name stolen from The Sopranos, is enjoying his time in the junk spotlight. He posted a picture of the incident to his Twitter account and has the pleasure of knowing he brought a divided nation together over the simplicity of the contact between man taint and a baseball. The true American past time. 

^{Photo Credit: TMZ}