Amber Rose Mulling Mammary Reduction

If you’re Amber Rose, or her social media ilk, you wake up each day, smile at the third tier rapper in bed next to you, take a home The AIDS test, and figure out how to get attention that day online. Trump’s got The Presidency, how are you going to get noticed on Twitter or Instagram? Tits is never not the answer.

Amber Rose is reaching meta bubble-assed status wherein she believes her freakish mannequin act packs a societal message punch. It’s like watching the bearded lady at the circus become self-aware. 

Rose took to Instagram with another endless excuse for why she had to make her tits the subject of her visual essay work. Breast reduction. Should she or should she not? Who has had this procedure done? Is it worthwhile. Like a WebMB thread for strippers.

“My boobs are stupid heavy, my back hurts and I can’t wear cute lil shirts without a grandma bra. I’m really scared of the lollipop scars tho…. any advice?” Are there any ladies out there that are much happier even though you have breast reduction scars?” And no I don’t have implants so they can’t just cut around the nipples tell me about ur experiences.”

You can tell from the supremely low cut top she’s wearing the burden she carries with those massive jugs. This isn’t like Jolie taking the Sawzall® to her tits to prevent future cancer. Maybe her breasts served her in the first half of her career, but they’re hardly needed for the Rich Mao path she’s taking in the second half.

Amber Rose needs her big flabbies. They may not define her as a person, but they serve as the bulk of the reason to click on anything to do with her. That’s not slut shaming, that’s reality. She knows it better than you do. Which is why she’s never shrinking those moneymakers. There’s lady logic then there’s stripper logic and never the twain shall meet.

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}