The Pirelli Calendar 2018 All Black for Diversity

For fifty years, the Pirelli Tire company printed an annual cheesecake model calendar with largely naked pinup models for placement on auto shop walls. Everybody was happy. Which is like chum for the social justice warriors. They can’t stand the mirth or merriment of grown men.

Pirelli corporate was pressured into modifying its annual wall calendar from something everybody couldn’t wait to get in the mail, to something that made a proper statement on inclusion and nobody ever hung on their walls ever again. It’s called progress, even if it appears to be the complete opposite. Women in stretch pants are getting back at you in ways you could never even imagine.

Since the “Enlightenment”, the annual calendar has turned into visual odes to strong women in sports, plain looking older women un-retouched, overweight women, various high art motifs, and this year, an all black model cast. Nothing speaks to sexy like cosplay P. Diddy and Whoopi Goldberg. Nothing speaks to diversity quite like embracing racism. 

The new black editor of British Vogue was brought in to run this year’s calendar shoot. 

“Inclusivity is more part of the conversation than it has ever been before, but it goes far beyond black and white. It is about all creeds, all colors, all sizes and people just living their truths. A lot of this is about digital giving people voices, and a new generation who refuse to compromise and want answers to the questions that matter to them.”

Good answer in so much as you’ve said absolutely nothing. Don’t bite the reverse racism hand that feeds you. An all-black reimagining of Alice in Wonderland is going to kill it at up to nine percent of popularity of previous calendar editions that featured hot naked white and black and Asian and Latin chicks coming out of the water.

Model Thando Hopa is hoping the Pirelli shoot succeeds in its intended purpose, which goes well beyond a novelty purchase:

“This is an important step in culture development — to push images that aren’t generic, that don’t conform to stereotypes. I think people really should see the end goal and not obsess in the myopia.”

That seems like a lot of work for the wall calendar buyers. Also, who talks like that? Models have changed. Sit through a semester of multicultural studies courses before you get to take the Pirelli calendar home and re-gift it to your black friend who will then hate you forever. Wait, which side is myopic again?

_{Photo credit: 2018 Pirelli Calendar by Tim Walker}