Tallula, Scout Willis Sober. Scout Celebrates With Pubes

This week all three children of the potato – Scout Willis, Rumor Willis, and Tallula Willis – celebrated their sobriety on Instagram. The celebrity version of getting a P.H.D. Mom Demi Moore put in her best teeth for the ceremony. Unfortunately she couldn’t celebrate at the bar with top-shelf Reddi Whip. Needs to set a good example for the children.

The Willis sisters all have self-described careers in the arts. Plus, if you stick toothpicks in them and place them in a cup of water they grow foliage to the delight of school children. Like Powerpuff Girls void of endearment or name recognition, each of Bruce Willis’ girls has her own schtick. I’m Scout, and I’m the bohemian songstress. I’m Tallula, and I refer to myself as an artist. And I’m Rumor, the least fuckable one, but I sure can’t act. Rumor came out as not drunk on July Fourth and set in motion Insta self-fellatio from her two younger sisters. This weekend Scout confessed:

I’m not always good at celebrating myself, and reallllllllly shy about doing it publicly, but honestly I am so fucking proud of myself for this one. Last month on June 17 marked one year of being fully present with ma self, no filters, no chemical relaxation, no short cuts. I am meeting the best version of myself every day

What a coincidence. We’re not good at celebrating you either. Scout hit the genetic jackpot of the group, if the jackpot is twenty-five dollars to paid out over ten years. She gives good tit and sort of has her angles. Tallula wasn’t about to be left in the rehab shadows of her sisters, and one day after Scout’s Instagram post, shared:

3 years ago I was a malnourished string bean with aches that echoed throughout my soul. However the internal cries to tend my most blistered and deep wounds repeatedly fell on deaf ears. I did not value myself, my life or my body and as such I was constantly punishing for not being enough. Self annihilation fueled with medicating left me a shell, and the world on mute. I was hoisted from my hole, (one so deep I was certain we were nearing the Earths magma core) on the backs of powerful human beings that I will forever be indebted too, and on that day my life was gifted back to me. I love the girl in this picture, I cry for her and I mourn her lost years. She is inside of me always and I must never let her slip too far. I don’t push any agenda, I can only speak for my path and staying sober has been far and beyond the most important thing I’ve done in my wee 23 years.

I guess you could say she’s a… starving artist. Stick around folks. Addiction legitimizes attempts at artistry. Stick a whiskey in an author’s hand and he’s got something to share. Female body hair is second best. As promised, Scout posted a picture of her pubes and gorilla pits to her Instagram story. These follicles help Scout to be the “best version” of herself. What’s that saying – when your best isn’t good enough, pubes. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}