Sharon Stone Creaks Open Legs

Sharon Stone’s fuckability in her new Instagram pictures is still up in the air. The fifty-nine-year-old actress assumes her working girl position in a bikini while on a boat in Montana. The region’s diverse fauna never ceases to amaze me. This is an Ancient Hobag sighting, for all you nature buffs. The adjectives being heaped upon Stone by the media for these new pictures are optimistic:

Sharon showcased her washboard abs in a plunging turquoise bikini, which enabled her to flaunt her sensational figure to the maximum as she headed out to sea in Montana for a family boating day.

The actress made sure all eyes were on her as she seductively ran her fingers through her short blonde locks and she covered her eyes with a pair of black sunglasses, with her extending her toned pins over the railing.

The headline for that article from Express is “Sharon Stone, 59, Dares to Bare as She Oozes Sex Appeal in EYE-POPPING Blue Bikini.” In the words of someone I just Googled and don’t know any fucking thing about: “Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.” Maybe anyone able to give a fuck about their appearance after being ground down by life for almost six decades deserves a little praise. A little. Let’s save the rest for chicks who can actually get your dick wet. Alexandra Daddario for example. 

Stone is a pro at flaunting her best angles. Hence the vag flash in Basic Instinct. She knows what she has to offer the world. In the new Insta photo where she’s airing out her taint, Stone strategically accentuates her clavicles while simultaneously tightening her stomach. The pose in the other pic is a no brainer. Everyone looks best on their backs. “The name of my game” – Bella Hadid. 

Celebrity bodies over forty still slightly resembling the human form are praised sky high regardless of nuances and red flags. We need to believe that immortality exists in Hollywood as we pre-order our mobility scooters ate age thirty. This is a gender equalizer, for anyone just coming over to WWTDD from HelloGiggles. Matthew McConaughey’s skin is drooping off his body like a cat’s stomach. But he’ll be “ageless” as long as he sports scary overdefined muscles gained from overriding fate with five hours of working out a day. Stone’s stomach, tits, face, neck, and legs are separate entities. Something of note for an old woman. “If You Squint, Sharon Stone is Probably Fuckable.” There’s your headline.

^{Photo Credit: Instagram}