R. Kelly Sex Cult Captive Releases Proof of Life (VIDEO)

A cult’s not official until the perfectly coiffed milkmaids release videos insisting they’re okay and happy at the compound. 

R. Kelly fired back at charges he’s a Warren Jeffs with a wet play fetish with a hundred percent denial of all accusations. Also, trotting out one of the anointed sex tape stars begging her father to stop talking shit to the press. Let alone to Buzzfeed. That is pretty embarrassing. Like Time won’t take your calls these days. They’d accept collect.

In the video obtained by TMZ, Jocelyn Savage is seen on a park bench accusing her father of embarrassing her and their family by insisting she’s locked in R. Kelly’s upscale sex dungeons. Savage won’t disclose her location for fear of her own safety. That’s supposed to ease your mind as to her situation. Poor scripting choice.

Savage hints that her father knows the real truth of what happened that night she met R. Kelly. Like a sweet teaser for a sequel video. If it’s ass to mouth the second the clock turned you barely legal, I’m collecting the door prize. If it involves anything to do with aliens, I’m DVRing the entire series.

Amassing a stable of young submissive pussy at 51 doesn’t didn’t use to come with formal charges. Nobody called Clooney a sex cult leader. Or Clinton. And that doesn’t even count the many powerful men with the stable of young cock in Hollywood. R. Kelly ought to threaten to blow up everybody’s secrets. Also, play the race card. Why not. It’s like a Siren’s call.

You can measure the real weight of a startling accusation by the fact that even if it’s entirely true, meh, who gives a damn. Let Kelly be Kelly. Weaves aren’t cheap. This seems like everybody’s getting what they want.

_{Photo credit: TMZ}