Paris Jackson Home Alone With Macaulay Culkin

Celebrities and decent parenting are water and oil. So when Michael Jackson drafted Macaulay Culkin to keep eye over his seed as godfather, it was only a matter of time before tomfoolery ensued. Who better to give godfather duties to than a child star who Mike once shared a bed with. Personal moments. Mike’s daughter Paris Jackson projects a faux free spirit persona that so many vapid wealthy children of celebrities with too much time and money have. Typical 19-year-old females don’t attend topless spiritual retreats. And if they do, it’s minus the spiritual part. Less about finding yourself and more about finding erect objects in unfilled orifices in the valley. Paid gig of course. 

In May, the teen posted a topless image of herself and addressed the controversy.”I’ll say it again for those questioning what I stand for and how I express myself. Nudity started as a movement for ‘going back to nature’, ‘expressing freedom’, ‘being healthier’ and was even called a philosophy. Being naked is part of what makes us human,” Not only is your body a temple and should be worshipped as so, but also part of feminism is being able to express yourself in your own way, whether it’s being conservative and wearing lots of clothes or showing yourself.”

Feminism at its finest. Who knows, Mike may be moonwalking in his grave now that his daughter supports a cause. I fully support that Paris’ sweater puppies are feral and free from caged patriarchal polyester blend brassiere of oppression. If going topless helps you find yourself, maybe more ladies need to ‘express freedom’. The free spirit train didn’t just stop at topless retreat. Paris teamed up with godfather of the year Culkin and got matching tattoos. Of spoons. Wonder what’s the reference there? Both are keeping hush on the meaning behind the ink. Going to take a wild guess that maybe Mike spooned both as kids and told them both to call him daddy. Allegedly. 

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