Equestrian Sub Zero Gets His Own Playlist

Playing into a marketing hype huge enough to rival Amy Schumer’s vagina, Game of Thrones has released a Spotify playlist for the Night King. Carefully curated by a clueless intern, it‘s all in the keywords.

Spotify will claim its hyper advanced algorithms. Just google rock songs related to kings, death, walls, and rebellion. With 27 songs deep you’ll miss that garage band you never started, playing air guitar in the cubicle won’t be the same come Monday. They should definitely put a disclaimer that sending this to a girl you’re after will not get you laid. This is for those fanboys who keep stores like FYE in business by buying adult action figures of their favorite TV series. That Funko Pop collection isn’t helping anything. And no, she doesn’t get wet from the picture of you in a Target T-Shirt sitting on the Iron Throne made out of plastic.

Now that Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat who is also an undead equestrian has his own playlist, I wonder what jingles would play to Ramsey Bolton’s extreme BDSM tastes. Personally, I’m looking forward to the playlist for chicks with shadow demon STDs that can be shot from their crotch to attack men miles away.