Kim Kardashian See-Through Nipple Town

Retired porn star Kim Kardashian took a break from doing nothing to show off her girthy nipples in a transparent wife beater. “Leave me out of this” – Johnny Depp. She completes the look with Adidas shorts and high heels. When you marry a gay man with a passion for fashion, you end up looking like a busted drag queen halfway through changing after soccer practice. Actually, that’s an insult to drag queens. They would never wear boobs that look this fake.   

Kardashian is a pro at using her tits to change the conversation. With her 2007 sex tape, she changed the conversation from “Who’s she?” to “Oh there’s that whore.” The thirty-six-year-old recently took to Snapchat to dispell rumors that she was doing lines of coke in her hotel room. Duh guys. Coke is an appetite suppressant. In these new pap pics, Kardashian bares her conversation pieces while leaving a studio in New York for a “photo shoot.” Presumably for Centaur Enthusiast Magazine. She shields her eyes as if not expecting the world to clamor over her mocha nipples. We’ve been trained to care. Must see big Kim K. milk bags. 

If nothing else, the Kardashians are strengthening the correlation between nipples and celebritydom. You want to make it in this biz, do a slut stroll through New York with your tits clearly visible in a see-through top. Unfortunately, this advice all-too-often reaches the wrong celebrities. But general guidelines are becoming the rulebook. I hope you’re reading this, Alexandra Daddario. Or anyone more fuckable than Kim Kardashian. So, anyone. 

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