Katy Perry Lesbian On A Boat

This weekend former pop sensation Katy Perry was caught lurking around the waters of Capri, Italy in an off-the-shoulder bathing suit looking like the miscarried love child of Jamie Lee Curtis and Bamm-Bamm. Her expression even says “I’ve had one too many Activia yogurts,” while her overall appearance says “I’ve been beaten with a club.”    

Perry jeopardized a career built on whip cream-blasting tits with her recent socially woke album “Witness.” As a feminist, it is Perry’s duty to temper her sex appeal to look like a Black & Decker spokeswoman. Her transformation into a beefed up 2013 Miley Cyrus hasn’t paid off. Cyrus was smart enough to balance out the trademark feminist spiky bleached hair with plenty of tit flashes. Perry forgot that crucial component. All she had to do was jiggle up and down long enough to make a gif. What a waste. 

The thirty-two-year-old preached in her 2010 song E.T.:

Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison
Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

Back in the days when rape was fun, and the world was new. Perry’s attempts to eviscerate her former concent-is-for-pussies self are more contrived than Phoebe Price pumping gas in a see-through nightie. Actually, that’s just Price being Price. Perry isn’t staying true to herself with this butch boat ride. You are a vapid tit machine. Don’t let society change that.      

Those of you wondering what that demure lesbian angel would look like in a two-piece can check out the other photos in the gallery from her Italy vacation. What’s Italian for “Tired skank?”

_{Photo Credit: Splash News, Blackgrid}