Jack Gilinsky Madison Beer Slut Apology

This morning is full of breaking news, first and foremost the scoop that Jack Gilinsky is famous. The Jack & Jack singer made headlines this weekend after calling girlfriend Madison Beer a “fucking slut” in a leaked audio recording. From last year. The media has to fill its domestic abuse quota. Someone get Johnny Depp a cocktail. The straight-shooting Beer prompted Gilinsky by referring to his music as “shitty.” Gilinsky came through the ordeal a more fully-realized asshole, stating in a lengthy new apology:

There’s no justifying the words that came out of my mouth in that audio file. In no way do I stand behind who I was in that part of my life. But people change & learn from their mistakes. the clip you’ve all heard is from last year. I was in a very dark place, & clearly had no control over my emotions. It’s painful for me because most people think that this clip is current & is an accurate representation of where Madison & I stand today, when that is far from the truth. Like any couple, Mad & I have had our fair share of ups & downs, this clip specifically being one of our lowest points, Madison knew if she didn’t help me overcome my ways and change, no one would, & I would never learn from my mistakes. I’ll never be able to thank her enough for believing in me the way she did during that time.

Personal growth via public shaming. Celebrities don’t need therapists. They need career-jeopardizing leaked audio or video. You can practically reach enlightenment after calling someone the N-word. The biggest question here is: Why does Gilinsky care about Beer’s musical opinions if she is indeed a fucking slut? Fucking sluts aren’t generally known for trustworthy observations. You saw Kendall Jenner’s B.I.G. t-shirts.  

Gilinsky is now twenty-years-old. Beer is eighteen. The incident happened when both could have been in high school. Gilinsky would have been held back a couple of grades. After listening to his music, this seems like a possibility. Their argument carries weight because Beer is famous and pretty. Teenagers in Appalachia don’t leave the trailer without a goodbye domestic battery. We can make buzz-worthy GIFs of them tearing out each other’s hair in front of a salivating Maury Povich. Gilinsky and Beer will be over on Good Morning America discussing how their relationship is stronger than ever. I can’t verify if Beer is a fucking slut. But if she’s able to further her career based on this blasé exchange, she’s at least a smart fucking slut.

Here’s the fucking audio:

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