Girl Who Got The Demon Bumps From Usher Now Wants $20 Mill

You may recall all the way back to a few days ago when a chick sued Usher for ten million for having unprotected sex with her after he knew he had contracted Herpes Simplex 2. She cited his negligence and a bad cover story for drippy dick as the cause of her extreme emotional distress. A few days later and the woman who gets to keep her name private says her tests came back positive for HSV2. Now she wants twenty million. Bird in the hand versus STDs in the bush and all that.

Millions of people are giving millions of other people sex diseases every year. It’s how the viruses survive. We don’t necessarily take them super seriously unless they’re deadly, or passed on by somebody with deep pockets. You could sneeze on somebody and give them a SARS Norovirus combo and never see a legal filing. It’s the dick and snatch thing that hangs people up. 

When we reform medical malpractice to manage healthcare costs, we should probably build some kind of restitution scale for STD transmission. Broke-ass dudes shouldn’t get to give gonorrhea to half the girls in a dorm and pay not a cent, while a man of means fucks herp into a gold digger and owes a fortune. Figure out the treatment, curability, and the looseness of the lady involved and build an actuarial table. Modify for expectations. You fucked Usher bareback and didn’t get The AIDS. That’s a relief mitigator. Herpes sucks, but it could’ve been worse. 

There’s something to be said for not having unprotected sex wth somebody who’s last name you’re not sure of. But the blame still leans toward the dancing midget who admitted he thought his herpes was the non-contagious kind. Ten grand, plus any financial damages to your ongoing whoring business. Next.

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