For $25, Kendall Jenner Will Feed You Unmarked Ads

Capitalism is an all or nothing kind of religion. Any attempt to categorize certain money grubbing enterprise as shameless whoring, is a condemnation of the whole system. You can’t believe only half the miracles in The Bible.

The Kardashians and Jenners crash landed into the IQ challenged 12-34 female consumerism market and marked their territory with blood and sweat and shit and piss and the bodies of emasculated black men piled up in the shape of a Trump Wall. The kind of person who questions whether it’s okay to rip off customers doesn’t deserve customers. 

A couple years ago the sisters of the Order of the Perpetual Coitus started rolling out their premium service websites. The paid subscription sites allowed each to upsell their massive free social media with promises of exclusive, personal, behind the scenes content. Like that Kylie Jenner dating tips post that Kylie told the world was stupid and wasn’t written by her, despite being posed as her personal thoughts on a site the world’s future Forever 21 clothes folders were paying $3 a month to access.

Kendall Jenner’s paid site promises:

My daily style, beauty, and lifestyle picks
Behind-the-scenes footage shot from my iPhone
The truth about rumors, straight from me
Exclusive videos of me and my friends
Subscriber events and contests

My mom plants rumors with TMZ and then you pay me to assure you they’re fake. Wars and famine used to attrit many of these front end of the bell-curvers. It might be worth collecting the subscriber data in case eugenics ever comes back into vogue. Or necessity.

What you’re likely to encounter in your paid entry into Kendall Jenner’s inner sanctum are posts such as her recently produced, “8 Airbnb Rentals I’m Dying to Visit“. Who knows how creativity will spark in this girls mashed pea brain. 

Jenner rather candidly shares thoughts on each property, available for Airbnb rent, with stunningly personal quips about each locale with photos:

“I definitely wouldn’t mind staying in this gorgeous home in Baja, Mexico. I love the minimal design and how it mixes the indoors with the outdoors.”

The Calabasas mafia faction is clearly double dipping. Providing paid advertising dressed up as a travel diary that came to Kendall while chewing on her nails for dinner. If HBO ran infomercials for timeshares during climactic GOT scenes, you’d be pissed. There are limits. You expect to be offered all sort of Local Grannies In Heat In Your Zip Code promotional popups while viewing free porn. Once you’ve given the Russian mob your credit card number to watch a human trafficked girl stab herself with a dildo repeatedly, you expect no more ads until your purchased time is up.

You can’t rape your customers if they’re asking for it. It’s axiomatic. Outside of the HuffPo editorial room at least. Though you wonder if somebody shouldn’t be looking after the children and learning disabled that comprise the bulk of the buyers. Or something more than a catty FTC memo.

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