Dead Ronnie James Dio Hitting the Road (VIDEO)

File this under End of Days news. Legendary metal front man Ronnie James Dio and his divine screech will be on tour this Fall, seven years after his death from stomach cancer. With permission from Ronnie Dio’s widow, some modern day P.T. Barnum’s have built a show with a hologram of the former Rainbow, Black Sabbath, and Dio front man performing with a Dio tribute band. (See above for the trade show demo from earlier this year.)

Be tempted to consider this the worst thing you’ve ever seen. Or mention the amazing technology to remind people you have no human center. 

“I want me some money” is a bad way to explain why you might allow this atrocity to move forward, so Wendy Dio came up with a more palatable explanation:

In 1986, for the Sacred Heart Tour, Ronnie and I created the Crystal Ball with Ronnie filmed and speaking in a suspended crystal ball effect, done with back projection, which was the closest we could get to a hologram. Ronnie was always wanting to experiment with new stage ideas and was a big Disney fan. With this said, I am sure he is giving us his blessing with this hologram project. It gives the fans that saw Ronnie perform an opportunity to see him again and new fans that never got to see him a chance to see him for the first time. We hope everyone will enjoy the show that we have all worked so hard to put together.

That sure sounds nice. As nice as grave robbing for a freak show sold through Ticketmaster can sound. Did Ronnie have anything to say on the matter perhaps more on point? Maybe something in the more recent twenty-five years prior to his death? Something like, Wendy, when I’m dead, hologram me so you can re-licenses tour merch in Germany and Peru.

Jay Z’s complaint about Prince’s family turning his Paisley Park estate into a museum seems minor compared to re-animating a dead man to sell shows featuring a cover band. This is the time to take a good look at those you’re leaving in charge when you’re gone. Ask yourself this vital question: would these motherfuckers sell my eternal soul for a buck? You can’t be sure. Get a no post-mortem holograms clause in your will.

Personal likeness holograms for anything but virtual sex need to be outlawed immediately.