Clooney Out for Blood

George Clooney’s out for a pound of flesh on photographers that scaled the fence at his Lake Como estate to take photos of Clooney, his wife, and their twin infants. The shots were published on the cover of Voici magazine in France. Clooney’s demanding the lion’s force of EU criminal prosecution.

“Over the last week photographers from Voici magazine scaled our fence, climbed our tree and illegally took pictures of our infants inside our home. Make no mistake the photographers, the agency and the magazine will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. The safety of our children demands it.”

It’s unclear how Clooney speaks for the EU criminal justice system, but assume he has some deputized status based on hosting Interpol fundraisers in his yard. Brexit is when Clooney pulls out of a European chick.

People who equate apples and oranges noted how Clooney is anti-Mexican border wall but furiously defends his own house walls. The two are clearly not the same. Even open borders people who tend to live in glorious moated castles deserve their private property respected. Far more disturbing is the massive bounty placed on photos of famous people’s children. The large fees for such photos lead these ambitious and hungry slugs climbing over fences and up trees, or sneaking into hospitals or doctors offices or bushes at playgrounds, to capture telescopic photos of little kids. That’s singularly creepy.

It’s a demand based business. Some large number of women and the occasional transitioning male, have an overwhelming desire to connect with other people’s offspring. A psychologist could explain the phenomenon better. Women aren’t simply Mazel Tov-ing Beyonce on having a baby, they are feeling the labor pains and desiring to nurse her babies. How are the twins dressed today? Tell me. Tell me! Must have! Watch a strung out crack addict for an approximation of the pangs. 

There are fairly Draconian laws in Europe about snooping on famous people. Kate Middleton’s topless photos from her French getaway may put magazine photographers and editors in actual jail. Count of Monte Cristo iron mask shit. Don’t be surprised if Clooney does get some serious criminal indictments out of this. The photographers might claim they have families to feed and needed to climb that wall, wait, I meant the Mexicans. Fuck, apples and oranges. Maybe they’re not so different.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images}