Blac Chyna Victim Crafting (VIDEO)

Those who write history are at distinct advantage in shaping the final story. Let’s assume you want to be the whore on Good Morning America explaining why your precious gems and bitcoin based relationship with the sole remaining Kardashian with a dick is simply not your fault.

Blac Cyna booked herself the GMA and Nightline combo two part interview. Disney/ABC could care less about appearing serious about their news. Quick, name the last big billion dollar play based on providing a sincere service to the masses. Snapchat made five billion allowing chicks to send shots of their tits to the high school boy’s football team without their parents finding out. ABC is news version of that. Minus the hot teen tits. It’s the speaking scenes in Cinemax movies.

Chyna artfully crafted her comments about Rob Kardashian’s tirade as legit concern for the guy she fucked to produce herself a spawn. Also why that led to her filing a restraining order. Freddy Kreuger’s nun mom suffered the rape of a thousand lunatics. Fucking a fat dude with crocodile tears isn’t so bad. Maybe 172nd on Chyna’s list of practical applications of her beefy vagina.:

Blac even explained why she decided to send Rob a video in bed with another man in the first place.  She claims that she and Rob broke up in Dec., but he wouldn’t leave her alone so she thought the risque video would make him realize she’s moved on. Apparently it backfired on her.

Weird. Most of us were born with the instinct not to send fucking other people video to our crazy exes in hopes it would calm what ails them. Points for out of the box thinking.

Blac Chyna went on to explain how she never even thought about the fact she was impregnating herself with the last of the Kardashian male lineage, she simply was making a baby with a man she cared about deeply. While manipulating an abacus to determine that zygotes net present value. Hookers are inherently good with numbers. And multitasking.

It’s alway hard to know who to root for in a battle between terrible people. It’s like watching one of Trump’s kids take on CNN. I want them both condemned to the Phantom Zone. In the very least the power to block them from my news feeds. Don’t think E! producers haven’t contemplated a Rob Kardashian post-mortem episode. Chyna and baby Dream will be in matching black outfits. You’ve not lived until you’ve seen a toddler in crotchless latex weeping for that fat guy who used to come around.

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