Selena Gomez Ups Her Nipple Game

Two days ago I did some hard reporting on Selena Gomez’s nips. Journalistically, less than the Economist, but more than the Post. Today we’re checking out her visible tits in a see-through dress. Tomorrow, her hardcore porn “Jizz-ards of Waverly Place.” Gomez stepped out in NYC to attend her The Weeknd’s concert at the Barclay Center. The boobs take center stage.

Gomez is craftier than I thought. She’s been on the outside of a global cause looking in since the Manchester attack. Ariana Grande has always been the edgier of the Disney School for Tiny Girls alumni, and nothing is more hardcore than having your concert attacked by ISIS. Throw in an entirely selfless benefit concert and Grande is the sassy martyr kids and adults can agree on. 

In walks Gomez’s nipples. The see-through top has been the inexplicable caveat of censorship. Celebrities can play coy while looking like porn stars. Bare nipples are unsightly pigmented devil flesh mounds, but throw on the season’s trendiest cellophane and you’re the family-friendly pop princess teens can look up to and dads can jerk off to with pride.

This ponytail is a big fuck you to Grande. Sexy, attention-grabbing, tastefully slutty, and able to rock a ponytail? The Manchester survivors that Grande visited in the hospital want their money back. 

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_{Photo Credit: Blackgrid}