Lena Dunham Fills the Void Left by Cosby Mistrial

The Cosby trial ended in a hopelessly deadlocked jury. Convicting celebrities is nearly impossible in this country as evidenced by the shitty prosecutorial record in doing so. Robert Blake said he couldn’t have possibly shot his pain in the ass wife because he forgot his gun in the restaurant and went back to retrieve it at the time his wife was killed outside the restaurant. He wasn’t even trying. The jury let him go. Simpletons remain forever enamored of rich and famous people. It’s why basic cable shows are all built around the premise of super fancy drunk women with nice pendants. 

Cosby’s prosecution was a large waste of resources. And was clearly re-surfaced by a D.A. looking to score political points after his office declined to prosecute the same crime a dozen years earlier. The Screech lookalike in this case had previously take a fat check to be mum and the judge refused to let the sixty other women who woke up with Cosby jizz in their ear canals testify. You know need but one retired grocery store bagger to hold out because she loved Dr. Huxtable. 

Upon news of the mistrial, various feminist and rape survivors organizations remind the world that ninety-seven percent of men will rape a woman on any given Tuesday while his buddies cheer him on. The other three percent are in wheel-chairs but would if they could. Lena Dunham stepped into the breach to provide emotional support to sexual assault survivors and women everywhere. She makes no distinction between the two groups.

“Bill Cosby’s trial is about much more than Bill Cosby. When women see justice served, their own fear & trauma are eased. When they don’t, survivors of sexual assault have to watch every day as the legal system calls them liars and denies their truth. It is an unimaginable grind. My heart is with every survivor reliving the erasure of their own experience today. I see you. I love you. P.S. It’s okay to check out of the news and honor yourself today. Do whatever you need to feel whole.”

The defense in the case spent a literal six minutes defending Cosby. Five of those six minutes reminding the jury that there was no evidence the alleged victim didn’t go to Cosby’s house that night down to fuck an old man. Also, she took the drugs of her own accord. You can’t convict a man for being gross and creepy and preferring to have sex with lifeless women. Or so the old saying goes. Also, she did take that money. 

The D.A. announced they’ll seek a re-trial on Cosby but constituents ought to tell the prosecutor to save the time and money. Cosby’s going to his grave soon enough skating on fifty years of his roofie-and-splooge kink. There was a time and a place to stop this and nobody bothered. The tide has turned. Even Camille Cosby reared her ostrich head after the mistrial to denounce the media for convicting her husband in the papers. Dunham should punch her in the cunt. Incredibly unlikable women don’t fight fun anymore.

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