Farrah Abraham Cease and Desist

Farrah Abraham plays her role well. By default of men paying to see her sodomized, she’s carved out the Teen Mom alum role of uppity diva. She plays to character by sparring with her fellow former high school easy girls over wanting so badly to be like her. 

Abraham has had an ongoing public sparring match with Amber Portwood, whose IQ runs about the same as her temperature. Abraham claims that Portwood is obsessed with her and her fame, to the point of trying to book a Vivid sex tape with her unattractive older drug-addicted boyfriend. 

“They hope to follow in footsteps of mine, the envy of them wanting to be me never fails. I doubt doing a sex tape at 26 is the right direction. It’s sad how hard Amber tries to be me.”

Clearly 21 is the age for industrial anal bleaching and fake celebrity sex tapes. It’s like college. Everybody looks kind of funny at the too old freshman. What was he really up to? 

Abraham insists her legal team sent a cease and desist letter to Portwood and her boyfriend barring them from mentioning her name in interviews or books. That doesn’t seem legal. Either way, Portwood claims she never received the letter. It was almost certainly never written.

The upside of being a porn star is the built-in expectation that you’re lying about everything. No hard feelings. Check back in when your daughter’s eighteen. There’s a few ideas I’d like to get an estimate from you on.

_{photo Credit: Instagram / @farrah__abraham / Splash News}