Demi Moore ‘Sheared Off’ Front Teeth To Stress

Demi Moore, had a lighthearted mental break last night on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. The former celebrity kicked off the interview by acknowledging that she is missing her front teeth due to complications from stress. A cute word for drug addition. Allegedly. She joked:

I sheared off my front teeth. I’d love to say it was skateboarding or something really kind of cool, but I think I think it’s something that’s important to share because I think it’s literally, probably after heart disease, one of the biggest killers in in America, which is stress. Stress sheared off my front tooth. But, in an effort to get ready for you, I wanted to make sure my teeth were in.

If the scruffy Fallon wasn’t blind drunk he would have initiated a 5150. Instead, all he wanted to do was tousle her hair, but you never know what else could fall off. Moore needs a warning sign Danger: Falling Everything. Fallon brought out a visual aid provided by Moore to prove her toothlessness. The verdict is out on whether the phrase “Stress sheared off my front tooth” (which Moore states translates to “teeth”) means that they fell out on their own accord or if she went apeshit and started ripping out her teeth. Cartoon characters rip out their hair when stressed. Moore isn’t about to be outdone by Jon from Garfield. 

Moore fell off the reality wagon when Ashton Kutcher dumped her in 2012. A younger man publically disgracing his old lady once the Botox can no longer reinforce a caving face. Shocker. She became known as the whip-its queen of Hollywood before hitting rock bottom by starring alongside Miley Cyrus in LOL.

Maybe Moore’s teeth actually fell out on their own. Maybe Moore chipped them on a can of Redi Whip while watching people drown in her pool. A typical weekend. Moore adds that her kids approve of her oral abnormality because:

They think it makes me look more vulnerable and more human.

Self-destructive tendencies or failing body. Either way, she’s looking pretty vulnerable from here.

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