Cosby Skimming for Friends

Billy Cosby spent the better part of the week in court hearing the testimony of Andrea Constand who alleged Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted her a dozen years ago when she was a basketball playing college student. The rape case was never brought back in the day because Cosby wrote this tall baller a check to move to Canada and shut the fuck up. Hush money isn’t what it used to be. 

You don’t want to attend your sex crimes trial without supporters smiling confident by your side. Being alone makes you look guilty. Especially when your loyal to a fault wife is noticeably absent. Earlier in the week Cosby scored an escort from Keisha Knight-Pulliam. He made her a small fortune as a child actress. Now they’re even. Today, actors Joe Tory and Lewis Dix, Jr. drew the short straw. Actors in so much as that’s how their Wiki pages read when everybody tried to figure out who they were. Big names in comedy will come out to support Kathy Griffin, not Bill Cosby. It’s worth remembering who you may rightfully offend.

The Cosby trial is largely moot. He’ll be cold in the ground before he ever sees incarceration, assuming he’s found guilty, which is hardly a slam dunk. Cosby’s defense team is working rather agilely in court to prove that Cosby is a gross pervert who likes lifeless women, but he didn’t force any of these ladies to partake. Consensual necrophilia sex play is not a crime. Though with the Mushmouth voice while finishing in the ear, very very close.

Cosby is hardly the first famous phony creepy dude to fuck tons of young women through career bribery and gifts. His use of booze and sedatives versus booze and cocaine means a life’s end of criminal allegation versus a lifetime achievement award at the Emmy’s. Forcing unemployed buddies to stand by your side while a Screech lookalike recounts you dosing her out in your mansion seems like about the right punishment. Save the jail space.

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