Chrissy Teigen’s Butthole Takes Center Stage

Chrissy Teigen continues her relatability tour by divulging information about her asshole to fashion magazine Marie Claire. Only real magazines get the inside butthole scoop. Oversharing is flirty and fun when you’re the drunk chick every guy wants to fuck in the bathroom. Nobody’s asking about Rebel Wilson’s openings. During the interview, Teigen states that she didn’t realize her A-list asshole was visible to husband John Legend during doggy style:

John and I had a double date, and we were joking around, and I go, ‘John’s never seen my butthole.’ And John says, ‘Are you kidding? Every time anyone does anything doggy style, you see a butthole. I see it every time.’ I was like, ‘We are never doing it doggy style again.’

So, she doesn’t do anal. Gossip magazines are diving right in with this revelatory info as if Teigen was spilling details on how to eliminate crow’s feet from around the eyes. Trend alert: Visible buttholes while getting fucked from behind. Teigen has gotten all of the mileage out of her stretch marks that she can. The bravery of her cellulite Snapchats is compromised by the fact that she’s sexy. Her butthole is the obvious next platform.

The headline on the cover of Marie Claire “Chrissy Teigen: The Real Stories Behind Those Outrageous Snaps” mixed with her balloon knot media attention makes it seem as though Teigen is sharing her relatable hole with the world. Could be next. “Teigen to Her H8ers: Real Women Have Buttholes.” “Teigen’s Butthole Slays the Game.” “Feminism Found Inside Chrissy Teigen’s Shitter.”

Teigen also opens up about her fear of extending her family after a debilitating battle with postpartum depression. Meh, that’s not nearly as compelling as butthole talk. Dance with who brung you.

_{Photo Credit: Marie Claire}