Bill Cosby Beast Mode

Anybody who thought Billy Cosby was going to retreat into a mole like underground existence following his mistrial in his criminal rape case was wrong by a full one-eighty. Cosby and his Fat Albert gang are planning a nationwide series of town hall meetings on sexual assault. Not to educate women as to how to avoid becoming victims of such assaults. That’s the town hall down the street. Cosby’s function is going to help men learn how to avoid being caught up in false rape accusations. You know, like Cosby.

Cosby’s shamelessly upbeat spokesman, Andrew Wyatt, booked himself onto the hard to get, Good Day Alabama, to plug Cosby’s new Icarus like agenda to fly right the fuck into the sun:

“This issue can affect any young person, especially young athletes of today, and they need to know what they’re facing when they’re hanging out and partying, when they’re doing certain things that they shouldn’t be doing. Laws are changing. The statute of limitations for victims of sexual assault are being extended. So this is why people need to be educated. A brush against the shoulder, anything at this point, can be considered sexual assault and it’s a good thing to be educated about the laws.”

Things they shouldn’t be doing like knocking chicks out and filling their cochlea with jizz? Plus the brush on the shoulder. Isn’t it somewhat typical to have the celebrity fronting the town hall have some relationship to the topic listed on the tickets? Nobody’s going to a Charles Barkley state tax compliance seminar. 

Cosby’s clearly putting up cash to run a series of highly media covered town hall events designed to confuse himself with real guys who suffered real consequences for doing really nothing with women. Mix the creepy necrophiliac in the mansion with the guy who lost his job for telling a dirty joke to a coworker. We’re all under equal assault. Come on down. We have Pudding Pops. 

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