Bella Hadid Moving Bags

The crowning achievement of any model is landing the eight hundred dollar purse gig. Even chicks like Bella Hadid who are half naked most of the time appreciate the chance to promote wares that go hand in hand with overcoats. That’s a nice break from diarrhetics the week of the shoot. Simply Instagram a thank you to the nineteen Italian people who worked on the shoot and mention how much you love the leather goods.

Hadid was named the new face of Max Mara purses and accessories. That sounds so open ended. It better include bangles. Each week she’s scoring another fat paycheck because her crazy fucking mom sculpted the perfect model. She gave her big tits when other moms were insisting their girls go boy chest. She gave her a Muslim dad. Au courant. She gave her fake lyme disease where her friends were all running with herpes simplex. She taught her how to make men happy and save her thoughts for after thirty and at least two celebrity marriages. Repeat all of these with the cash register sound effect.

Women need to buy a lot of shit and some chick they believe is super nice for no reason needs to guide them through the process. It’s something of a reminder that while women are far more intuitive than men, the vanity shackles that bind will always keep them from taking over. Empty those giant purses. You’ll see. No guns or master plans.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}