Ariel Winter Not Paying the Help

Every time a celebrity slams a shameful story about themselves we need to take a shot. We’ll die in three minutes but at least we had fun. Ariel Winter is clapping back at the h8ers (another linguistics home run of the 21st century) who claim she gives her boyfriend Levi Meaden an allowance. Her denial of bankrolling her live-in mediocre sex worker implies that she doesn’t pay her employees, which is in violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act. Someone cuff her. 

Star Magazine has run out of ways to repackage Kim Kardashian’s dumpy bikini photos for checkout stand gasps and has moved on to the child actor-turned-sassy snowman silhouetted adult, Winter. In response to their understandable allegations that Winter provides her boyfriend with an allowance, Winter took to Instagram with:

Star Magazine is obviously a non-reputable source and a trash magazine, but seriously how dare you make up stuff that you have no idea about? I have a BOYFRIEND and a PERSONAL ASSISTANT who are NOT the same person. I would NEVER pay my boyfriend any sort of allowance, nor would he ever accept if I offered. He BUYS his own stuff whether it’s for me or for himself, and he more than pulls his weight for our life. I HATE fake news…

He’s not just someone’s boyfriend. If you don’t know us, don’t comment. Xoxo.

Winter wouldn’t react this strongly to a story about her being anorexic. She’d assume they’d mistaken her for her eighty pound Modern Family costar, Sarah Hyland. Levi Meaden is an actor who looks like every other millennial actor in Hollywood. More non-threatening than handsome. More beta than masculine. Perfect for the CW, but swamped by massive competition. That’s where the connected girlfriend comes in. It’s men’s turn to be whores for work in Hollywood.

Winter has made a career out of slamming the media for not digging her vibe. The only way left to shock with her body would be to perform a rosebud in dungeon porn. She should take the money she’s not paying her loyal and ever present boyfriend and tip Star Magazine heavily.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}