Alison Brie Topless Subjugation

Alison Brie spoke up about the objectification of women in the entertainment industry at the ATX Television Festival this weekend. She was pimping out her new Netflix series GLOW when she divulged the lascivious details of her audition for a small part on Entourage:

Early in my career, I auditioned for three lines on an episode of ‘Entourage’ that I had to go on in a bikini! Or, like, shorts and the tiniest shorts. And they were like, ‘OK, can you take your top off now?’

Her surprise means Brie confused Entourage with a Ken Burns documentary about the history of paper on PBS. Or any show that isn’t on premium cable. The revelatory statement for anyone not familiar with the entertainment industry in any capacity had the media up in arms. She wasn’t molested, but she wasn’t not molested. Today Brie clarified her remarks after conveniently letting them blaze across the Internet, tweeting:

Re:Entourage – CLARIFICATION – I had a bikini top on UNDER my top. They didn’t ask me to get totally topless. Sorry to disappoint you!

Brie bravely turned down the “take your top off now” portion of her audition. Now we know she had a top on under her top. Why did she wear a bikini under her shirt if she didn’t think she’d have to show it? Why didn’t they want to see her topless? Power is best abused. Her amendment comes after the casting director for GLOW, Jen Euston, chimed in:

…makes me sick there are producers who abuse their power & if there was a Casting Director present, they did nothing? Inexcusable.

Brie makes her nude debut in GLOW when she strips off her shirt to reveal her awesome tits. That’s a compliment, Brie. You’re welcome.

Chris Pratt doesn’t nab leading roles in billion dollar blockbusters because he’s still a Parks and Rec chub. Record companies aren’t signing Nick Jonas for his lyrical prowess. Both idiots proved their fitness results with shameless shirtless Instagram selfies before experiencing career rebirths. Hard working Americans turn to Hollywood celebrities to cash in on their spank banks regardless of gender.

People making movies and expensive TV shows need to see the merchandise before buying. You’d inspect your fifteen grand Kia top to bottom before buying. Now imagine that Kia cost fifty million. You’re going to take its tits for a test drive. Anything else would be unethical. 

_{Photo Credit: Mr. Skin}