Top Gun 2 Is On Like Donkey Kong

Top Gun was a testimony to how films in the 80’s sucked yet were commercially successful. Exactly like every other decade. Only the 80’s movies were saturated with the Glenn Frey and Kenny Loggins anthems. So worse. Kids today with their RZA scored movie soundtracks have no idea. Danny Elfman is a war criminal.

If you know anything about Tom Cruise, it’s that he’s trained himself to be careful with his words. One slip and the skeletons start oozing out of the closet out like a warm s’more marshmallow. Cruise’s drop about Top Gun 2 beginning filming next year to an Australian talk show was hardly an unintended mention.

“It’s true. I’m going to start probably in the next year. I know, it’s happening. It’s definitely happening. You’re the first people I’ve said it to, you asked me and so I’m telling you.”

And there you have it. Tons of middle aged women cooed. It was the movie they lost their virginity too, though not intentionally. Also, they’re the best at ‘Tom would love a piece of this’ charades

Top Gun 2 is without a script or a director, though expect those two aren’t vital to the process. The story is said to be centered around a now older Maverick. Everything about that sounds amazing. Kelly McGillis married her lesbian lover several years back. Don’t think she can’t pull off being Tom Cruise’s love interest. If Val Kilmer can live another six months, imagine the verbal jousting with Iceman. The Danger Zone is now United coach. This is so much better than a couple hundred people and millions of dollars being put into a fresh new good movie. Bring oxygen.