Stella Maxwell Eats Pizza For Fat People

Supermodel Stella Maxwell spills the details of her pizza preferences during an exclusive interview with US Weekly. The twenty-seven-year-old shocks by divulging that her guilty pleasure is “A margarita pizza, thin crust!” The folks behind the Japanese lesbian sex robot forgot to add in nouns that would allow for a more compelling snack. Burgers and pizza are the go-to food choice of models during interviews. Cuter than saying kale smoothie and an index finger. But Maxwell doesn’t take a cheesy load of California Pizza Kitchen thin crust for breakfast lunch and dinner:

I believe in eating in moderation. It’s about having your cheat days and having things that you love, but maybe watching your quantity.

Maybe. Fat people need a glimmer of hope that they can achieve a supermodel body while getting double penetrated by all you can eat breadsticks. Maxwell is here to help. Magical thinking trumps physiology. This is the closest she’ll get to the relatability of Chrissy Teigen’s cellulite.

The article “Yes, Victoria’s Secret Angel Stella Maxwell Eats Pizza! Plus — Spills Her Fitness Fashion and Beauty Secrets” seamlessly leads into a pimpfest for the Victoria Sport ballet-inspired collection. Whereas the robot manufacturers neglected to beef up Maxwell’s conversational vocabulary, they didn’t skip a beat with the patented Victoria’s Secret Angel spiel:

I think it’s a trendy cool palette to have in your closet for summer. Especially with the workout gear I just think it’s very wearable and trendy. I haven’t seen these designs in sport wear. I want to still look cute walking to the gym if I run into anyone; I’m stoked to be wearing dope workout gear rather than trying to hide what I’m going to the gym in.

We’re all going to die anyway. Might as well go to the grave as a blimp thinking that that only things separating you from a supermodel body are cute workout clothes and DiGiorno’s pizza.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram, Victoria’s Secret}