Nicole Scherzinger Rambling

Nicole Scherzinger formerly of the Pussycat Dolls is promoting a TV movie remake of Dirty Dancing. Sounds like that will be even shittier than the original Dirty Dancing, which is no small feat. Why not reboot Gigli or Battlefield Earth? Also, you could just write an entirely new movie. There’s an original thought.

Scherzinger was asked where was the strangest place she had been recognized. She relayed a humorous little yarn about being spotted while getting her pussy waxed: 

“I thought the chick doing it didn’t know me but she was actually a fan. She asked for a picture right in the middle of the wax. When she was looking at my fanny. I was like, wow!”

This was an interview with British publication, The Mirror. Scherzinger grew up in Kentucky, by way of Hawaii. It’s beyond questionable that she would be so considerate as to incorporate British vernacular just because she’s doing an interview with a British person. It would make as much sense as Kate Winslet dropping a Y’all to Rolling Stone. Does The Mirror have a file full of half amusing anecdotes that they supply to actresses with nothing to say as a courtesy? This one needs some work.

First of all when is having your pussy waxed not awkward? A stranger is staring at your holes while ripping your hair out for twelve bucks. You would think some small talk would be in order just to break the tension. If your doctor is worth any salt he makes a ton of off color jokes before sticking his finger up your ass. If you happen to be in Journey it’s well within his rights to mention it. 

Scherzinger then said she was conflicted about taking the role in the movie because her character has an abortion and she’s pro-life: 

“So I got the role and I almost didn’t take it because I didn’t want to promote abortion, because my character has an abortion. But I was like, hopefully they can learn from, you know, her ways and I can be a positive influence.”

The plot of Dirty Dancing is inexplicably sordid and a major through-line is that the character Penny needs an abortion because she got pregnant by a waiter who was fucking her older sister. She goes to get a back-alley abortion and the doctor fucks it up, severely damaging Penny’s internal organs. 

You could take this lesson two ways. One stance would be don’t have unprotected sex because you may have an unwanted pregnancy. The other would be don’t stigmatize abortion so that women have access to safe medical care and don’t need to resort to an appointment with Dr Giggles which leaves them with busted ovaries.

Whatever side you’re on, you can agree that this movie will do absolutely nothing to bridge that gap, and in fact may lead to domestic violence because it is such inane garbage that it may cause violent reactions. 

Just admit you need the work. Everyone involved in this production is selling out their values, you’re no different. Also if you’re a magazine ripping lame stories off of Reddit to supply your vapid subject with material, try and get the dialect right. It’s a big world out there. For example there’s this thing called floss. 

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