Miley Cyrus Brought Herself to Tears

Miley Cyrus has re-launched herself for the seventh time. Each launch generates tons of negative comments from the general public followed by tens of millions of dollars into the Miley Cyrus Foundation for a Kick Ass Life. She’s now a country singer-songwriter. It’s a six on the legitimacy scale relative to her peers. She could raise that grade to an eight by dropping the singer-songwriter put on.

Cyrus debuted her song Malibu at the Billboard Music Awards, another thinly disguised prime time pop music show with no relation to critical review. Cyrus was introduced by her little sister, Noah, who grandmothers around world would politely describe as “cheery”, and her dad, Billy Ray. The pair were there representing the larger circle of family and friends that count on Miley to pay their rent. 

Cyrus has cleaned up her act from muskrat spirit animal prostitute to Dollywood amusement park country singer. Hollywood wardrobe artists are not outside the box thinkers. Toward the conclusion of her very personal song about her fiancee written by a guy named Stephen she’s never met, Cyrus welled up with tears. She would later suggest they were tears of joy for the manner in which the audience accepted her more vulnerable side. The sting of crabs was never mentioned despite topping the chart for British bookmakers.

There comes a time when making value judgements about what appeals to fifteen year old suburban girls is self-defeating. It’s like questioning why Venezuela can’t simply find one decent socialist dictator. There is no right answer. Only various shades of why the fuck do you care.