McKayla Maroney Defends Her Ass

Somebody raise their hand when they notice a pattern of 18-22 year old second tier celebrity chicks defending their soft core porn shots on social media. McKayla Maroney who was super famous for ten days in 2012 at the London Olympics has turned her gold into numerous CW show guest appearances, a few licensed fleeces for sale, and down top pics on social media. Not everybody gets the Wheaties cover. And some who do lop off their dicks. That’s worse than the SI cover jinx.

Fans of McKayla Maroney initially suspected her Instagram account was hacked when a video appeared showing her pudgy body and short person ass in a thong dancing on camera. Because after ransoming the West European healthcare apparatus and interfering in global elections, that’s what hackers are up to these days. None of her fans have paid attention to her previous one-thousand revealing selfies. Or was it the animation that threw them?

Maroney dialed up some Common Core feminist logic to respond to critics of her ass movie, none of whom could be found: 

I didn’t get hacked. unfollow if u need to. all love.

There’s something to this “change the channel if you don’t like what you see” mentality. Though it used to be more of a broad doctrine for libertarian thinking, versus an opportunistic defense of shameless T&A garnering Likes on social media. Millennials tend to use their First Amendment defenses in rather piecemeal fashion. Good for me, not good for thee if we disagree. But man could this midget vault. Amber Alert when she pulls the trigger on porn.

_{Photo Credit: @mckaylamaroney / Instagram}