Kim Zolciak Topless Wedding Vow Renewal Photo Op

After you’ve published invasive photos of your little kid in the E.R. and offered up your daughter for oral to gain social media traction, where do you go to get your reputation back? Kim Zolciak staged a wedding vow renewal ceremony with her unemployed NFL husband. Back up what you’ve got while looking around for what’s next. It was a great opportunity for Zolciak to be topless in virginal white and ride horses. Only one of which she should be allowed to do. And only then because horses can’t say no. 

Zolciak pivots between happy-go-lucky-whore and god-fearing matriarch faster than a Step Curry crossover dribble. It’s mind boggling. There are just enough really stupid people in the world to fall for it. It’s the 2010’s version of the Pet Rock. At least this one has tits. So slightly less inexplicable.

“I am the LUCKIEST wife/mother on this planet! I never will ever take my family for granted! God is so good.”

That first part has to be considered valid. Not since Pretty Woman has a longer shot tale of a street pro finding old-fashioned love come to fruition. Most women who spend their sweet sixteen banging a fifty year old cop in a criminal investigation, followed by multiple marriages and baby making don’t end up in mansions. Largely projects, on meth. It’s very good be blond.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}