Jaden Smith Brings His Hair

Jaden Smith is losing shock value in his unisex dress code so he upped the ante by bringing his own hair in his hand to the Met Gala. The annual event features dozens of the best looking people in the world wearing millions of dollars worth of disposable fashion while muttering about Trump ripping medicine out of poor babies’ hands. It’d be more annoying if you didn’t want to fuck almost all of them. The same reason you ever smiled at a sorority party.

Jaden Smith had black dreads when his dad gave him a highly publicized haircut last month. A classic father-son bonding moment with just the men of the house. Smith must’ve colored his locks to match his own colored buzz cut. Forward thinking. People who like fashion thought it was epic. Also noted that the hair made a statement about clutch purses. It’s unclear what statement his high heel ladies boots made, though I’m sure the explanation is detailed on the last stall in the Mark Hotel lobby restroom.

The Emperor’s New Clothes is coming up on two hundred years old as far as parables on men who find esteem in their wardrobe goes. Hans Christian Andersen’s self-satisfied royal of yore could easily be a bored rich celebrity kid of today. Let he who is without sin cast the first, does cum get stuck in your golden grill joke. 

_{Photo credit: Splash News}